McNalty's Tavern, voted most non-existent bar three years running.

Ranking the James Bond films

25. A View to a Kill (1985)

                Bond: Roger Moore

                Flash Review: This is the one with Christopher Walken in it and man is it a train wreck. As with several of the late Moore movies it’s apparent that he’s too old to be playing James Bond. All of this is topped off with some of the worst writing in the series.

                Score: 27/100

24. Octopussy (1983)

                Bond: Roger Moore

                Flash Review: First off, the name, I mean come on. If you get by that you’ll find a movie that features far too much of the circus and a plot so poorly written, you might assume a circus clown was involved in the writing. Also, Roger Moore was too old in this movie.

                Score: 29/100

23. Moonraker (1979)

                Bond: Roger Moore

                Flash Review: This movie is another over-written piece of space garbage, like the last two. It also features CIA agent and ASTRONAUT, Holly Goodhead. The plot isn’t quite as bad as the previous two and it is shot better saving it from the last place that the premises deserves.

                Score: 32/100

22. Die Another Day (2002)

                Bond: Pierce Bronson

                Flash Review: This was the first Bond I ever saw in theatres, and I would still like a refund. It’s by far the best looking of the Bronson movies, but it just doesn’t make any fucking sense. If you recall this is the one where a Korean Colonel pretends to be a British guy for most of the movie and tries to melt the Arctic Ocean.

                Score: 39/100

21. Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

                Bond: Pierce Bronson

                Flash Review:  The villain in this movie is a hacky version of Rupert Murdoch or something along those lines, while dressing like Steve Jobs, it’s very strange. This is also one of the worst looking Bond movies ever, don’t know what it is, but nothing seems to really jive throughout the entire movie.

                Score: 42/100

20. Never Say Never Again (1983) *

                Bond: Sean Connery

                Flash Review:  This is the independently produced remake of Thunderball. The only reason it counts is because Connery is in it. And he’s far too old to be playing the role. It doesn’t look very good either but it’s not the worst Bond product ever produced, so there’s that.

                Score: 51/100

19. The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

                Bond: Roger Moore

                Flash Review: This one’s just okay. It has a solid villain and a decent theme, considering it was set during an energy crisis. It doesn’t translate so well to the modern era and Roger Moore does a poor job playing 007 here.

                Score: 54/100

18. Quantum of Solace (2008)

                Bond: Daniel Craig

                Flash Review: This movie may have been regarded higher if the plan of sequel would have ever happened, but it didn’t. At the end of the day this movie contains a couple of the good parts of Casino Royale, like a strong female lead, and all of the typical hacky bits of a 70’s or 80’s Bond. It’s neither good nor bad and has a nice and short run time so it’s not a bad watch.

                Score: 58/100

17. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969)

                Bond: George Lazenby

                Flash Review: This was of course the infamous first Bond without Connery. Lazenby is decent but the film as whole isn’t very good. It lacks the ability to keep you entertained, which is about the worst thing you can say about a Bond movie. Something of note though, several scenes from this movie were later borrowed and put in to the Craig films. Also, all of the modern reviewers that rave about this film are just trying to be contrarians.

                Score: 62/100

16. The World is Not Enough (1999)

                Bond: Pierce Bronson

                Flash Review: The plot of this one isn’t much better than some in the mid-20’s, however there are some great scenes. The best one probably being the boat chase through London. A solid performance by Bronson carries the film enough to keep you interested.

                Score: 64/100

15. Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

                Bond: Sean Connery

                Flash Review: This was the movie that Connery returned to make after Lazenby’s brief stint as 007. The plot and direction of this one are pretty solid and brings a different flavor to the series. However, there are a couple of absolutely silly parts in the film that almost ruin it.

                Score: 73/100

14. Spectre (2015)

                Bond: Daniel Craig

                Flash Review: Some part of the core of Spectre is very, very good. Unfortunately that part was stretched to its outer limits to produce this almost two-and-a-half-hour movie. The scenes in Mexico City and in the Alps are fantastic. In total however the length of the movie and the C vs. M subplot takes up time that could have been used on Blofeld and Hinxs’ character development.

                Score: 74/100

13. Live and Let Die (1973)

                Bond: Roger Moore

                Flash Review: One of the most different Bond films ever made. It’s Moore’s first film as well. This one does so many good things, including giving everything a non-generic 70’s vibe. If they would have stuck to a model like this, they would have made much better movies with Moore. Also the second-best song of the series.

                Score: 77/100

12. You Only Live Twice (1967)

                Bond: Sean Connery

                Flash Review: Definitely one of the cooler opening scenes, with the faking of Bond’s death. The movie also showcases Japan in a lot of cool ways. There’s several iconic scenes in this one too, most notably the volcano. Slight problematic is Connery putting on some make-up and pretending to be JAPANESE???

                Score: 81/100

11. GoldenEye (1995)

                Bond: Pierce Bronson

                Flash Review: Far and away the best Bronson movie, this one is fantastic. Sean Bean, who dies of course, also bolsters the movie into the low 80’s on the score card. This was a really good starting point, but also unfortunately the pinnacle of Bronson’s time as 007.

                Score: 82/100

10. The Living Daylights (1987)

                Bond: Timothy Dalton

                Flash Review: First off, I love Dalton’s Bond. He’s everything Roger Moore was not. This movie also features several very memorable scenes, the pipeline, the orchestra, and the raid on the military base with the help of the Taliban (that did not age well). The Brad Whittaker character is also the perfect balance of unhinged maniac and grand villain that makes for good Bond movies.

                Score: 83/100

T-8. For Your Eyes Only (1981)

                Bond: Roger Moore

                Flash Review: The best of Moore’s films, this movie nails the pacing perfectly. It also seems like someone doped more up with whatever they give racehorses because his usually wooden and unnecessarily goofy Bond is on point.

                Score: 85/100

T-8 License to Kill (1989)

                Bond: Timothy Dalton

                Flash Review: Bond goes rouge in order to get revenge for Felix Leiter. It’s a darker and more heavy-handed Bond, but that makes it better. Most of the typical Bond-y things are left out and replace with basically a straight thriller/action movie.

                Score: 85/100

7. Thunderball (1965)

                Bond: Sean Connery

                Flash Review: This is a classic Bond movie. It has just enough wacky stunts and famous scenes, balanced by good action and a form of realism that keeps it on the ground. It might have rated higher about 20 years ago but there are some very questionable actions in several of the scenes of this film that are pretty cringeworthy nowadays.

                Score: 88/100

6. The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

                Bond: Roger Moore

                Flash Review: This one brings in probably the most iconic henchman in Jaws, several neat stunts and a script that fits Moore’s Bond better than any other one. The settings and the soundtrack really nudge this one up a lot.

                Score: 91/100

5. Dr. No (1962)

                Bond: Sean Connery

                Flash Review: Honestly, this movie looks like shit. But it laid the foundation for pretty much every spy movie ever so that’s something. The writing and locals produce an entertaining movie and Connery nails the role.

                Score: 93/100

4. From Russia With Love (1963)

                Bond: Sean Connery

                Flash Review: This film sees Bond travel the world and visit some of the cool places in the Soviet Union. It continues to lay down the foundation that would build the franchise and looks much better than its predecessor.

                Score: 94/100

T-2. Goldfinger (1964)

                Bond: Sean Connery

                Flash Review: Pussy Galore, Goldfinger, and Fort Knox. It’s the essential Bond movie. A ridiculous plot, crazy villain, and female lead with an eyebrow raising name.

                Score: 96/100

T-2 Casino Royale (2006)

                Bond: Daniel Craig

                Flash Review: Craig’s first movie and one of the best. It digs back into Bond’s roots while also pivoting and making Bond a darker, more layered character. This one strips out most of the zany hijinks that are hallmarks of Bond movies and is better for it.

                Score: 96/100

1. Skyfall (2012)

                Bond: Daniel Craig

                Flash Review: A Bond movie unlike any other. It makes a seismic shift in the closing acts. You see Bond himself come back from the dead and learn more about his life. All the while the film reminds us of one of life’s most constant meanings, the past is never dead.

                Score: 99/100

Ranking the Avengers Movies